We start dreaming about our kids even before they were born. We imagine about their growing stages, their studies, future and even about our parenting. Usually parents prepare themselves to be strict so that they can lead their kids in a proper way. But if we check different instances and reports we will understand that “strict parenting” is just a bad option to opt. Because strict parenting never produces a better behave kid, rather it creates a negative impact on them. It only deprives the child from self discipline, responsibility and self regulation. When you start being a strict parent you become the villain of your child’s life. They follow the way that you ask them to follow. They don’t find their own path, they become dependent to everyone, and thus they lose the qualities like self maintenance and management. Through strict parenting you are actually creating a temporal control over them which eventually make them rebel and they start resisting you in some way or the other. This in a way teaches the kid to bully you, to hide their matters from you. They will start lying as a part of their resistance. There is a chance for them to be angrier towards everything or they may even fall in deep depression. Somehow they may get an idea that power is everything. Thus either they will shut their mouth against the authority or they will try to get power by any means. The worst result of strict parenting will be the bad parent-child relationship. The friction between the parent and child will increase as they grew older. As they have received no support from their parent’s side they will not show their respect and care towards parents also.
This is just one phase of parenting. There are another group of parents who are against strict parenting and as a result they adopt permissive parenting. Permissive parenting is as bad as strict parenting. Most of the parents think that permissive parenting is an alternate solution for strict parenting. But rather it is as bad as or even worse than strict parenting. Strict parenting deprives child’s self management, regulation, self disciplines etc, whereas permissive parenting makes them self centered, intolerant etc. When we don’t set any limits and allow them to do whatever they want to do then the kids will start building their own kingdom. They will mould an idea in their mind that they can get anything when they want to get it. This puts them in a crucial situation where they find it difficult to tolerate when they don’t get something when they wish to get it. They will not learn how to adjust according to the situation and they will not learn the quality of sharing. They will become aggressive and intolerant gradually. In some other cases the child may think that his/her parents are least bothered about him/her because they feel the lack of a firm support. This thought compels your to child stay away from you. So permissive parenting will only create a kid who is stubborn, intolerant and dominant whereas strict parenting will make children submissive, depressed and silent. Both the ways doesn’t give any kind of support to your kid.
If permissive and strict parenting is a failure then where should we place our parenting? It is always better to go in a middle path, where you combine both strict and permissive parenting. It is good to be strict within limits. Setting reasonable limits is always good for a great parenting. It will enhance parent-child relationship as well as it will help in your kid’s mental growth. If your kid want to do something don’t shout at him/her like a strict parent and also don’t allow him/her to do is as soon as they ask for it like permissive parents. Think about it; think whether their need is essential for their age. If you find it necessary allow them and don’t stop them. This will give your child the idea that their parents will allow them to do anything if that is good for them and they will mould themselves to adjust to various situations where they don’t find their choices. You have a lot of expectations about your kid. In strict parenting you have more expectations with less support and in permissive parenting more support with fewer expectations. But if we are combining both then we will be able to keep the expectations and support in a balanced way. So it is fine to give support along with setting limits. Be a hero not a villain of your child’s story.